understanding and the authentic. the following is an excerpt from the glass bead game:

...it seems to me that we have not only two different languages and ways of expressing ourselves, each of which can only vaguely be translated into the other, but that we are altogether and fundamentally different creatures who can never understand each other. Which of us is really the authentic and integral human being, you or me? Every so often I doubt that either of us is.

this quote is from an intellegent, educated man 'of the world' to his good friend of an intellectual elite sheltered from the harsh realities of the world. nevertheless, this is succinctly the fundamental dis-ease i have felt ever since my adult 'awakening'.

bridging this gap is fundamental for me to find meaning to my own life. i had altogether given up on using words and language at one point. i've come back to realize that language and words are still a useful, but fallible, tool. and i continue to learn and investigate ways to communicate and understand. perhaps i'll never really get to that perfect understanding i long for, but maybe trying and searching is what life is all about.